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Click here: To read how to get legally
married in Connecticut in one day.
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Click here: To read how to get legally
married in New York State, (there is a one day waiting
period in NY.)
You do not have to be a resident of a state to get married
in it.
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Same Sex Couple Legally Marries in Connecticut (Read
this entire page for information on what it means to be
legally married in a marriage state but live in
Pennsylvania.)
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*What does it mean*
From "Trish's Column" by Patricia Sullivan
This Column Appeared in the PA Diversity Network - Valley Gay Press Newspaper - July 2009 Issue
"How We Got Legally Married in Connecticut"
On June 15th Liz and I got legally married in Darien, Connecticut. Getting a civil marriage in CT is easy. The license is $30 and certified marriage license copies are $10 each. Town Offices require payment in cash. The license is good for 65 days, but in Darien you can complete the whole process from application to certified copy in one day. Ours was completed in a record 1/2 hour. Other CT. Cities require two days. The clerks in Darien were efficient, courteous and nice to us, there are 22 Justices of the Peace in Darien whose charges start at around $50. Any practicing ordained or licensed minister may also perform the ceremony, and they can be from out of state.
To get married you do not have to live in CT, but you must be at least 18 years old, not be married to or in a civil union with somebody else, have a photo ID (driver's license or passport), your social security number, mother's maiden name, your parent's birthplaces, date and location of your wedding, and contact information for your wedding officiate. You cannot be related to the person you are going to marry.
The Darien Town City Clerk web site is : http://www.darienct.gov/content/104/114/220/default.aspx.
Remember that getting married is serious business. It’s a legal contract you must honor. If you want to break up - you’ll have to get a legal divorce by establishing residency in a legal same-sex marriage state, probably for at least 6 months. If you happen to be in the US Military you will be dishonorably discharged if you marry a person of the same sex, because it is breaking the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell rule.
Although, Pennsylvania does not recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states, if you marry in CT, your marriage will be recognized in the 6 states that have same-sex marriage and in NY and DC where legal marriages from other states and countries are recognized. 27 countries in the world recognize same-sex marriage or unions and the number continues to grow. By the way Connecticut has no referendum or "People’s veto," so once your have a legal marriage in CT they aren’t going to be overturning it by some kind of Constitutional Amendment. And remember this - once you are legally married in any state - when it does pass in PA and when the federal DOMA law is overturned - you don’t have to do it again. You’ll be married in each place as they pass it.
From "Liz Out Loud" by Liz Bradbury
This Column Appeared in the PA Diversity Network - Valley Gay Press Newspaper - July 2009 Issue
"What Legal Same-sex Marriage in Connecticut (or New York) Means to an Out of State Couple"
Trish and I got legally married in CT. We chose June 15th to do it because it happens to be my birthday. We figured after 21 years together, (our first date was in 1988), with a VT civil union (in 2000), an MCCLV Freedom to Marry church ceremony (in 2004), and 6 subsequent Freedom to Marry Day Courthouse Action applications for legal marriage licenses that were denied at the Lehigh County court house (yearly from 2004 through 2009) - we figured we needed to have a good way to remember our latest anniversary.
Also, because Trish gets retirement benefits from NYS and NY recognizes legal same-sex marriages from other states, we did it because the benefits for married couples are a bit higher than domestic partners. And there were other reasons too, including that CT has no referendum possibility to over turn it.
We wanted to just speed up to Darien, Connecticut, do it and come home (read Trish’s column on how.). My wonderful sister lives in the next town, so she was there too. We figured we could get married, have lunch, and still get home before dark.
So there we were in Darien, filling out the marriage application again (for the 7th time) and suddenly we both realized that they were not going to turn us down! It hit us that we were really going to be legally married. We’d be finished with our 9 year trek to legal recognition. Because even though it’s not recognized in PA, it will be someday and we don’t have to get married again. See, just like an opposite couple who gets married in one state and doesn’t have to get married in every other state they ever live in, neither do we. We just have to wait (and fight for) every state and the US Federal government to recognize it. So far 7 US states and the District of Columbia recognize it - and 27 countries world-wide. It really is just a matter of time, now.
When we left the Darien Courthouse, my sister said happily, “Now I have a sister-in-law!” We laughed, but it really struck us how true it was. Later I said to Trish that her nieces and nephews have a new aunt whether they like it or not. It’s not something they can “choose to recognize,” it’s legal marriage and everyone understands that - not like a civil union that a heck of a lot of people don’t get. I really do feel different. Here’s just a little example...You know those little boxes on forms that say married or single and don’t have a space for civil union or life partner? I’ll never hesitate to say married again, not in any situation.
It’s interesting that several straight people I’ve told this to really don’t get it. One compared it to living with her boyfriend before they finally got married, but it’s not the same -- no government office had turned them down for 9 years.
Seven months after Trish and I had our first date, I asked her to marry me. She didn’t want to do it until it was legal. Now, 21+ years later, I’ve been able to marry the love of my life and I’m remarkably happy about it.
You do not have to be a resident in New York State to get married there!
| (Read this entire page - above and below- for information on what it means to be legally married in a marriage state but live in Pennsylvania.) |
"Getting Married in New York State" is also available in Adobe PDF format (PDF, 240KB, 2pg.)
Be aware that if you want to get a divorce you MUST live in a state that recognizes marriage, for an extended period before you can apply for and obtain a divorce. Pennsylvania will not grant divorces to legally married same-sex couples, because PA does not recognize same-sex marriage.
The Marriage License
Where do you get one?
A couple who intends to be married in New York State must apply in person for a marriage license to any town or city clerk in the state. The application for a license must be signed by both the members of the couple in the presence of the town or city clerk. A representative cannot apply for the license on behalf of the either member of the couple. This applies even if the representative has been given the Power of Attorney. Notarized marriage license affidavits signed by either member of the couple cannot be substituted for their personal appearance.
Is there a waiting period?
Yes. Although the marriage license is issued immediately, the marriage ceremony may not take place within 24 hours from the exact time that the license was issued. When both applicants are 16 years of age or older, the 24-hour waiting period may be waived by an order of a justice of the Supreme Court or a judge of the County Court of the county in which either the member of the couple resides. If either person is under 16 years of age, the order must be from the Family Court judge of the county in which the person under 16 years of age resides. *Note....people who are under 16 years of age should not marry if they live in PA, because PA will not recognize your marriage the stautory rape law could cause serious problems. There is a 5 year mandatory prison sentence for people having sex with someone under the age of 16 in PA.
How long is the license valid?
A marriage license is valid for 60 days, beginning the day after it is issued.
How much does it cost?
If the marriage license is issued by a town or city clerk in New York State outside of New York City, it costs $40. This fee includes the issuance of a Certificate of Marriage Registration. This certificate is automatically sent by the issuing clerk to the applicants within 15 days after the completed license is returned by the officiant (person who performs the marriage ceremony). It serves as notice that a record of the marriage is on file. Couples who do not receive a Certificate of Marriage Registration within four weeks of the wedding should contact the town or city clerk who issued the license.
If the license is to be issued by the City Clerk of the City of New York, please contact the New York City Clerk's Office for current fees and requirements. The City Clerk's Office can be reached at (212) 669-2400 or via their web site at New York City Marriage Bureau.
Is a premarital physical exam required?
No premarital examination or blood test is required to obtain a marriage license in New York State.
What are the age and consent requirements for minors?
- If either applicant is under 14 years of age, a marriage license cannot be issued.
- If either applicant is 14 or 15 years of age, such applicant(s) must present the written consent of both parents and a justice of the Supreme Court or a judge of the Family Court having jurisdiction over the town or city in which the application is made.
- If either applicant is 16 or 17 years of age, such applicant(s) must present the written consent of both parents.
- If both applicants are 18 years of age or older, no consents are required.
- One parent alone may consent to a minor's marriage if:
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- The other parent has been missing for one year preceding the application;
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- The parents are divorced and the consenting parent was given sole custody of the child when the divorce decree was awarded;
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- The other parent has been judged incompetent; or the other parent is deceased.
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- Parents, guardians or other people consenting to the marriage of a minor must personally appear and acknowledge or execute their consent before the town or city clerk or some other authorized official. If the notarized affidavit is made before an official outside of the State of New York, it must be accompanied by a certificate of authentication when the consent is filed in New York State.
A person is required to establish proof of age and identity by submitting to the issuing clerk one of the following age related documents:
- Birth Certificate
- Baptismal record
- Naturalization record
- Census record
- Driver's license
- Passport
- Employment picture ID
- Immigration record
A marriage may not take place in New York State between an ancestor and descendant, a brother and sister (full or half blood), an uncle and niece or an aunt and nephew, regardless of whether or not these persons are legitimate or illegitimate offspring.
Previous Marriages
Information regarding previous marriages must be furnished in the application for a marriage license. This includes whether the former spouse or spouses are living, and whether the applicants are divorced and, if so, when, where and against whom the divorce or divorces were granted. A certified copy of the Decree of Divorce or a Certificate of Dissolution of Marriage may be required by the clerk issuing the marriage license.
Surname Options
Every person has the right to adopt any name by which he or she wishes to be known simply by using that name consistently and without intent to defraud. A person's last name (surname) does not automatically change upon marriage, and neither party to the marriage is required to change his or her last name. The bride and groom need not take the same last name.
One or both parties to a marriage may elect to change the surname by which he or she wishes to be known after the marriage by entering the new name in the appropriate space provided on the marriage license. The new name must consist of one of the following options:
- the surname of the other spouse;
- any former surname of either spouse;
- a name combining into a single surname all or a segment of the premarriage surname or any former surname of each spouse;
- a combination name separated by a hyphen, provided that each part of such combination surname is the premarriage surname, or any former surname, of each of the spouses.
Whether you decide to use or not use this option at the time of your marriage license application, you still have the right to adopt a different name through usage at some future date. However, your marriage license cannot be changed to record a surname you decide to use after your marriage.
If you plan to use your married name at work, be sure to have your name changed in Social Security records. This way, you will get credit for all your earnings. It's easy and it's absolutely free. Contact any Social Security office. Look in the telephone book for the address and phone number. You will need documentary evidence showing both your old name and your new name.
Where can a marriage take place?
A New York State marriage license may be used within New York State only. Please note that if you go out of New York State to be married, your New York State marriage license will not be filed in New York State.
What about the ceremony?
There is no particular form or ceremony required except that the parties must state in the presence of an authorized member of the clergy or public official and at least one other witness that they take each other as husband and wife. There is no minimum age for a witness. However, in selecting a witness, choose at least one person who you feel would be competent to testify in a court proceeding as to what he or she witnessed.
Who can perform a marriage ceremony?
To be valid, a marriage ceremony must be performed by any of the individuals specified in Section 11 of the New York State Domestic Relations Law. These include:
- the mayor of a city or village;
- the former mayor, the city clerk or one of the deputy city clerks of a city of more than one million inhabitants;
- a marriage officer appointed by the town or village board or the city common council;
- a justice or judge of the following courts: the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit, the U.S. District Courts for the Northern, Southern, Eastern or Western Districts of New York, the New York State Court of Appeals, the Appellate Division of the New York State Supreme Court, the New York State Supreme Court, the Court of Claims, the Family Court, a Surrogates Court, the Civil and Criminal Courts of New York City (including Housing judges of the Civil Court) and other courts of record;
- a village, town or county justice;
- a member of the clergy or minister who has been officially ordained and granted authority to perform marriage ceremonies from a governing church body in accordance with the rules and regulations of the church body;
- a member of the clergy or minister who is not authorized by a governing church body but who has been chosen by a spiritual group to preside over their spiritual affairs;
- other officiants as specified by Section 11 of the Domestic Relations Law.
Where can I get copies of my records?
For copies of marriage licenses issued anywhere in New York State except the five (5) boroughs of New York City, a certified copy of the marriage record may be obtained from the office of the town or city clerk who issued the license, or from the New York State Department of Health. The fee is $10 if you obtain a certified copy from the town or city clerk who issued the license. If applying to the New York State Department of Health, the fee is $30. For a certified copy, write to:
Certification Unit
Vital Records Section
New York State Department of Health
P.O. Box 2602
Albany, New York 12220-2602
For marriage licenses issued in New York City, do not apply to the New York State Department of Health. For an application, current fees and ordering information contact the City Clerk of New York at (212) 669-2400 or visit their web site at New York City Marriage Bureau. You can also write them at:
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New York City marriage records from 1930 to 1995 can be
obtained solely from the Manhattan
Office.
MANHATTAN: - Office of the City Clerk
- 141 Worth Street
- New York, New York 10013
- BRONX:
- Supreme Court Building
- 851 Grand Concourse
- New York, New York 10451
- BROOKLYN:
- Municipal Building
- 210 Joralemon Street, 2nd Floor, Room 205
- Brooklyn, New York 11201
- QUEENS:
- Borough Hall Building 120-55 Queens Boulevard
- Kew Gardens, New York 11424
- RICHMOND:
- Borough Hall Building
- 10 Richmond Terrace, 3rd Floor, Room 311
- Staten Island, New York 10301
Be sure to read the information about Connecticut above to fully understand that your marriage will not be recognized in PA, but why legal marriage is important.
If you have more questions about legal same-sex marriage, you can call the PA Diversity Network offices at 610-432-5449.